Fragmentos

Há umas semanas atrás envolvi-me numa polémica que podem rever aqui. A faísca foi a posição da Igreja Católica sobre a admissão de padres homossexuais nos seminários. E eu, que veramente não gosto nem de polémicas nem de debates, atirei gasolina com o meu Tom Desagradável e as minhas Ironias Nada Subtis. O tema em si pouco me interessa; mas interessa-me a questão moral que lhe está subjacente. Interessa-me a aliança subterrânea forjada entre a Ignorância e a Arrogância, que permite que bocas se abram e debitem banalidades sobre aquilo que obviamente desconhecem (e que, receio, não fazem intenção nenhuma de conhecer). E interessam-me muito mais as denegações e os mecanismos de defesa perante uma realidade que muitos suspeitam mas que teimam em ocultar: que Cristo, tendo sido em muito o Homem mais manso, também é um Mestre muito severo. As chicotadas nos lombos dos vendilhões deviam nos fazer perceber isso.

Tudo isto trouxe-me à mente um pequeno texto de Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), o maior satirista que o mundo já conheceu. O título é An argument against Abolishing Christianity (1708-1711) e de subtítulo

To prove, That the Abolishing of Christianity in England, May, as Things now Stand, be attended with some Inconveniences, and perhaps, not produce those many good Effects proposed thereby.

que explica claramente a intenção de J. Swift. Começa por avisar que o seu único objectivo é defender o Cristianismo nominal:

THEREFORE, I think this Caution was in it self altogether unnecessary, (which I have inserted only to prevent all Possibility of cavilling) since every candid Reader will easily understand my Discourse to be intended only in Defence of nominal Christianity; the other having been for some Time wholly laid aside by general Consent, as utterly inconsistent with our present Schemes of Wealth and Power.

Depois lista os vários Inconvenientes na abolição do Cristianismo. Cito dois:

FOR the rest, it may perhaps admit a Controversy, whether the Banishing all Notions of Religion whatsoever, would be convenient for the Vulgar. Not that I am in the least of Opinion with those, who hold Religion to have been the Invention of Politicians, to keep the lower Part of the World in Awe, by the Fear of invisible Powers; unless Mankind were then very different from what it is now; For I look upon the Mass, or Body of our People here in England, to be as Free-Thinkers, that is to say, as stanch Unbelievers, as any of the highest Rank. But I conceive some scattered Notions about a superior Power to be of singular Use for the common People, as furnishing excellent Materials to keep Children quiet, when they grow peevish; and providing Topicks of Amusement in a tedious Winter Night.

AND to urge another Argument of a parallel Nature; If Christianity were once abolished, how would the Free-Thinkers, the strong Reasoners, and the Men of profound learning be able to find another Subject so calculated in all Points whereon to display their Abilities. What wonderful Productions of Wit should we be deprived of, from those whose Genius, by continual Practice hath been wholly turned upon Raillery and Invectives against Religion; and would therefore never be able to shine or distinguish themselves upon any other Subject. We are daily complaining of the great Decline of Wit among us; and would we take away the greatest, perhaps the only Topick we have left? Who would ever have suspected Asgill for a Wit, or Toland for a philosopher, if the inexhaustible Stock of Christianity had not been at hand to provide them with Materials? What other Subject through all Art or Nature could have produced Tindal for a profound Author, or furnished him with Readers? It is the wise Choice of the Subject that alone adorns and distinguishes the Writer. For had an hundred such Pens as these been employed on the Side of Religion, they would have immediately sunk into Silence and Oblivion.

Podem substituir Asgill e Toland pelos vossos macacos de estimação. Swift remata:

TO conclude: Whatever some may think of the great Advantages to Trade, by this favourite Scheme; I do very much apprehend, that in six Months Time, after the Act is past for the Extirpation of the Gospel, the Bank and East-India Stock may fall, at least, One per Cent. And, since that is Fifty Times more than ever the Wisdom of our Age thought fit to venture for the Preservation of Christianity, there is no reason we should be at so great a Loss, merely for the Sake of destroying it.

Banda Sonora: Dead Kennedys — Religious Vomit.